2. Diana’s Monologue
I was Diana El Killua Freesia.
I was formerly the princess of the Kingdom of Killua, but now I was the crown princess of the Kingdom of Freesia.
I was married off to the victorious country in order to harmonize the public opinions of both countries and strive for mutual prosperities.
Considering that we were killing each other not too long ago, wasn’t that overly optimistic of them?
In case nobody had guessed it yet, it was just a front. In reality, I was merely the proof of surrender—yes, a hostage.
Us royal family couldn’t survive unless we masked our true intentions behind such public facades.
For example, in the case of the queen, the reason she gave me contraceptive pills was because she was concerned about my wellbeing.
When I first got married, I ordered contraceptives from the Kingdom of Killua. I had at least the minimum route to connect with my homeland. I didn’t harbor any ill will towards the Kingdom of Freesia. To me, it was akin to a talisman.
Apparently, the queen was wholly unaware of that.
One day, the queen suddenly came into my bedroom.
“Isn’t there something wrong with your health? You always sleep in until the afternoon every day…”
Since the first night, Rudolph would devour me every night, so it was only late afternoon that I regained the ability to walk.
The queen looked down at me, who was lying on the bed in my nightgown, and frowned as she went on.
“Rudolph is unbelievable. He failed to notice how pale you look. …Diana, please stop taking the medicine you’re currently on. I’ll arrange for you to get another contraceptive.”
“…”
I neither denied nor confirmed. As a matter of course, I told the queen right then and there that I was ordering contraceptives from my country.
“When I first got married, I used it, too. But sometimes, our bodies would show adverse reactions to certain medicines. Why don’t you switch to something that is less strenuous on the body? I know that you must be suffering more than me. Marrying to a foreign country is never easy. Even I needed three years to overcome it. Please don’t push yourself too hard.”
Sounds kind, right?
But the major issue was that from now on, my communication route with my homeland was cut off. Moreover, I’d probably never be pregnant with Rudolph’s child.
The same went for Rudolph.
When he took me home right in the middle of the ball and said, “I don’t want you to be seen by other men.” Or when he summoned me when I was having a tea party, “You’ve charmed me with your beauty.”
Under the pretense of being infatuated with me, he limited my contact with important figures.
Undaunted, I fought back.
“I miss Your Highness.” I said, wearing his favorite nightdress while trying to sneak a peek at important documents in his office.
Rudolph and I professed our love as we worked for our respective countries.
So, don’t think that those whispers of love are true.
—Rudolph doesn’t love me.
But it’s okay, because the warmth he gave me saved me.
Hence, I chose to divorce him.
I’m getting off topic, but I should’ve explained how the royal family handles things.
In that case, what should I write to him?
Dear Prince Rudolph.
I especially wrote this letter as a way to apologize to you.
I don’t think I can be a good wife for you.
As much as I wanted to drown in pleasure and forget everything, I can’t forget the scars that have been inflicted on my country.
No matter how much my body shook with ecstasy, I can’t give my heart to you.
Has there been anything more than carnal desire between you and me this past year?
In order to repent for my lustfulness, I entered the monastery. From now on, I shall never meet anyone and pray for those who perished in that battlefield.
I shall fulfill the mission that I’d been entrusted with.
The Kingdom of Killua shall not bare its fangs to the Kingdom of Killua during my lifetime.
I swear by the red eyes of the Royal Family of Killua.
Therefore, please divorce me.
Please welcome a legitimate heir that doesn’t have a single drop of Killua’s blood to this world.
—Diana El Killua.
Not a bad offer for Rudolph, right?
He wouldn’t have to pretend to love me anymore, while I’d spend the rest of my life in a monastery where I couldn’t contact my homeland and leak inside information about the Kingdom of Freesia.
My own arrogance dictated me to write that I didn’t feel anything for him. Besides, I wrote it in case Rudolph didn’t want to divorce me.
At the same time, I was grateful that it had come to this.
Because at this rate, I might be killed.
I was imprisoned in a deserted rural mansion.
My hands were bound behind my back, and a gag was stuffed inside my mouth.
I wish the ladies would stop doing this!
Because my mouth was open all the time, my saliva was dripping down, and it was embarrassing.
“Is this the Killua woman who seduced the prince?”
A man who seemed to be in the underground business looked down at me, saying something as disrespectful as I expected. Four people, including this man, kidnapped me from the monastery. I could feel that there were more than four people in that mansion, so I kept my mouth shut.
“For a witch, her looks aren’t as detestable as I thought…”
Another man leered and touched my hair. I squirmed with all my might, but to no avail. He groped me all over.
“…Argh…!”
I couldn’t make a sound because I was gagged. Actually, I just wanted to click my tongue.
…It’s so disgusting!
The simple black cotton dress I received at the monastery was made of thin material, and the sensation of the man’s hands could be felt through the fabric. As I glared at him, cold sweat ran down my spine. Then, another man stopped him.
“Stop it. What will you do if you offend the client? Report it first.”
When the man who seemed to be the leader left the room, the other men followed suit.
Although I was relieved to be away from my abductors, things weren’t looking any better.
The monastery where I took shelter was located in the farthest area from the border between the Kingdom of Freesia and the Kingdom of Killua, and was off-limit to men.
Hence I thought, if I was that faraway, the people’s grudge towards Killua should be less intense, right? How wrong I was.
My maid, Karin, went to send the letter to the castle. No one was there to protect me.
It happened in an instant. I was restrained by a group of men and brought to an unknown place.
They still loathe me.
Although the Kingdom of Fresia and the Kingdom of Killua shared a border, they had never been friendly. Even without a large-scale conflict like last year’s battle happening, they had been engaged in skirmishes for a long time, and both sides had suffered considerable casualties.
While I got married to Rudolph under the pretext that we were trying to develop an amicable relationship, that didn’t erase the fact that both of our kin perished in the war.
I didn’t intend to die, but with my hands and feet bound, it was easier said than done.
However, no matter how long I waited, the men never came back. Even if they went to report it to their employer, wouldn’t they at least assign someone to keep watch?
How strange…
I twisted my body and rolled around on the dusty floor until I reached the storage door, but as expected, there wasn’t a soul to be seen.
At the same time, I heard a faint voice in the distance, it seemed that there was some kind of a commotion…
…Internal discord?
The person who put them up to it was probably an aristocrat. Many were unhappy that I rose to the rank of a crown princess despite being a Killua, after all.
Are they planning to get rid of me so that a native noble lady can become the queen? Or is it my status they are aiming for? To make me a bargaining chip with either the Royal Family of Freesia or Killua?
I knew to some extent that the Kingdom of Freesia wasn’t rock solid, but Rudolph kept me busy in his bedchamber to the point that I couldn’t gather any information.
Is it my fault for leaving the castle carelessly? Or did I walk on a carefully-laid trap?
What if the fact that I could leave the castle so easily, then told the coach driver that I as going shopping, only to ride a carriage to the monastery in the North were all part of someone’s trick…
“…Damn!”
I forcibly twisted my wrists and succeeded in somewhat loosening my restraints. Due to the frictions of the rope, blood soon oozed from my wrists.
Anyway, I have to escape now.
Now that I had a bit more freedom, I reached for the garter belt on my thigh. A small dagger was hidden there.
Until a year ago, I fought in a life-or-death battle. Don’t underestimate me.
Despite my feelings, I managed to cut the ropes on both hands with shaky hands, and the ropes around my legs were easily removed.
It’s noisier outside than before…
Faintly, I could hear the clashing of swords.
Was there a disagreement between the noble who wanted me death and the noble who wanted to use me as a bargaining chip?
Either way, it definitely didn’t bode well for me. In order to escape from them, I softly opened the door to the storage room.
Unbeknownst to Diana, the knights led by Rudolph were fighting those who held her captive.
Raul, Rudolph’s close aide, witnessed the full extent of Rudolph’s rage and started to feel a little sorry for the thugs who were dropping like flies.
Realizing he was facing a sword master, the thug, who’d lost his will to fight, was mercilessly slammed to the ground by Rudolph, breaking his arms and legs.
“Where is she?”
Rudolph yanked the man, who was probably unconscious, by his hair, forcing him to face him. Beaten beyond recognition, only groans escaped the mouth of the man whose front teeth were missing.
He’s been venting his pent-up feelings through violence these days…
Rudolph, who had become increasingly irritated by Diana’s sudden disappearance, read a letter from her and was crestfallen.
“It’s the worse…” He muttered.
By the time they arrived at the northern monastery with a platoon of fleet-footed knights, Diana had already been taken away.
Thanks to Rudolph’s leadership, the knights were able to expand their search to the anti-Killua faction in the area and quickly pinpoint the ringleader. Quickly, because who knows what’s going to happen if they didn’t appease the crown prince soon.
Raul, who was also Rudolph’s childhood friend, sighed loudly and called out to Rudolph, who had defeated another thug.
“Your Highness, unless they are in a state where they can talk, we won’t be able to find Lady Diana.”
With a loud crack, another man was added to the list of victims. Rudolph, who didn’t seem to be able to hear Raul’s voice, sighed yet again when a report came from the knight who was investigating the mansion.
The room where Diana was apparently hidden was already empty.
“Your Highness! This might be Lady Diana’s…”
As soon as someone mentioned her name, Rudolph, who had been snapping the kidnapper’s shoulder, cast him aside and turned to look at Raul. When the knight led him to the room where she was locked in, they saw that the floor was littered with footprints that looked like something had crawled on them, along with bloody rope.
“Did she run away from here? Why…?”
Raul casually made a joke to Rudolph as he picked up the bloody rope.
“Maybe because from the first night, she was fed aphrodisiacs, and was almost always under house arrest with no freedom? What if Lady Diana—”
“Haha.”
Rudolph was laughing, yet his eyes weren’t.
Oh no, I spoke too much.
Raul merely wanted to tell Rudolph that his methods would only make Diana distrust him, but Rudolph was sensitive when it came to Diana.
“Your Highness, I think there’s a high chance that she escaped before we arrived… We’ll search the entire area!”
Raul ran out of the room, leaving behind his exhausted master.
The mansion was a dilapidated ruin that barely retained the shape of a house and was riddled with holes. If Diana escaped through these holes, there was a possibility that she was still in the mansion.
Where did she run off to…? Even if she was aware that we were the ones who were looking for her, what if she didn’t want to be found to begin with?
Even if she returned, she’d just return to being a caged bird.
Diana was smart. Not only was she in the enemy country, everyone was openly hostile towards her. Yet, not once did she falter. Her servants from Freesia, who were initially opposed to her, were now her devout followers.
Anyway, if she doesn’t come back, it’ll become a national issue. …Actually, no, I’d be killed by His Highness before that.
Raul ordered his subordinates to comb through the entire mansion and the surrounding area.
Soon, Diana was found.
By the time I left the room, the mansion was basically crowded with people, so I gave up on escaping. I didn’t think any of those people was on my side. Even the knights directly under the crown prince might see it as an opportunity to take out their grudge and secretly dispose of me.
I should just pretend to escape and wait for them to leave the mansion than walk around the mansion and be discovered.
There were various large and small items in the room I was locked in, and after struggling to move them, I found a hole under the eaves that allowed me to get out.
This place is practically a rat’s nest, but I still value my life.
Deciding to crawl under the eaves and cover the hole in the floor with the items in my vicinity, I reluctantly moved to a position where I wouldn’t be visible through the hole. It was cold, but luckily the ground wasn’t damp. I crouched there and waited for the sound of footsteps.
Occasionally, I’d hear a voice call out, “Your Highness!” But I didn’t respond since it might be a trap.
It was slowly dawning on me that I was trapped in this room.
Then, as I heard footsteps coming and going—
“Your Highness.”
—I heard a familiar voice.
Most likely, he was referring to Rudolph instead of me.
I listened closely, wondering if he might’ve come.
“Maybe because from the first night, she was fed aphrodisiacs, and was almost always under house arrest with no freedom? What if Lady Diana—”
What? Aphrodisiac?
Of course, I was also aware that I was basically under a house arrest. I couldn’t leave my bedchamber until late in the afternoon every day, could barely attend any social events, and was under constant surveillance.
But aphrodisiac?
Even though he whispered sweet nothings, I always believed that we were truly physically compatible.
A cold lump weighed in the pit of my stomach, an inexplicable feeling of disbelief welling up.
Does that mean everything about us was a lie?
I wanted him to deny it. I wanted to think that the comment had nothing to do with him.
However, the voice that shouted “Raul” in a low voice was definitely his.
Under the dark and eerie eaves, I huddled myself, unable to do anything about the buzzing anxiety.
Diana, what a fool you are.
I should’ve been okay with him not loving me.
I even divorced him while fully believing that it’d be better if I wasn’t around.
I was hoping that maybe—
—Maybe he truly loves me and refuses to divorce me.
Perhaps, I was in love with him, too.
His sweet nothings and the fact that we couldn’t get enough of each other were all part of his plan.
Perhaps, my leaving the castle, as well.
I still love you.
I was truly helpless.
After that, I didn’t know how long time passed. Even my body had become numb, so when Rudolph’s knights found me, I was a sitting duck.
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Uh oh…..dianaaaaa 😭😭😭