Looking back at it, my attitude was really appalling over the last six months. His Highness tried to get closer to me as his fiancé, but I was too embarrassed even to make simple eye contact. I couldn’t hold his hand because I was worried about sweating. I was so happy to be hugged that I had shaken like a leaf. I almost fainted when he kissed me.
“Ugh… Your Highness…”
I can’t believe another woman would take him away from me just as we’re on the verge of getting married. Even if that’s what’s premeditated, it’s still far too painful. I wonder if he’s having the best time right now, but it also pains me to think about it. In the game, they’d have a conversation here in the courtyard somewhere, and then I remember them moving to a guest room. The thought that maybe they’ll eventually be in the room where I am now is making me want to stay far away from here. Rather, I should just go home now.
I opened the door and went out into the hallway, all at the same time, making sure that no one was there. The two, who had their first dance together today, would eventually tie the knot… What a romantic story, I thought as I tossed and turned. Suddenly, I remembered something and froze.
“…Huh, but didn’t I… Also dance with His Highness?”
I had been so preoccupied with the memories from my previous life… That I forgot I was His Highness’ partner for his first dance. Strange enough, in the ending where Sissel was tied to His Highness, Sissel served as His Highness’ first dance, and His Highness hadn’t danced with anyone apart from Sissel… Even though he had a fiancé… Now that I think about it, it seems like quite the crazy requisite… Sissel would dance with the person she’s meant to be with, and since she danced with His Highness earlier, the two were bound to end up together.
My head went into a tilt, thinking about the discrepancies regarding the memories from my previous life, but the more I look back, the more different things actually are. Yurie, the villainess, was sarcastic, had a perpetual glare on her face, and was obsessed with wine. She had a frosty relationship with His Highness and did not get along with her brother. Better yet, she was also disliked by her parents.
I didn’t grow up to be a treacherous girl… I hope. I feel that my brother and parents love me. And with His Highness, although we have not been the perfect lovers, had been friends with me for the longest time… I’d like to think.
Your Highness existed. Even Sissel existed. I also have an older brother that is existent. Likewise, I, Yurie, exist. However, there isn’t really any evidence that Yurie existed. It’s just all in my head. In the first place, are these really memories from my previous life?
But I knew things I shouldn’t have known before.
But I’ve had several déjà vu moments many times.
But… Did I really?
Are Yurie, her friends, the game… And the Tibetan sand fox just delusions I created? Because who can prove that they really existed? Everything I thought I knew was so different from my reality now.
My head began to hurt, and I felt sick. My legs felt unsteady, and I had to lean against the wall to keep from falling. I tried to keep standing, but I just kept slouching. As the daughter of the Marquess, I couldn’t be seen in such a condition, and even though I was determined to stand up, my body couldn’t muster up the strength to follow through.
A familiar voice reached my ears, making me look up. What I saw was His Highness with an impatient look on his face. I wondered what he was doing in this place, but I immediately remembered the game. Yes, His Highness should already be walking around here with Sissel… I-I looked for her, but she was nowhere to be found.
“Your face looks ghastly pale… Hold on to me.”
His Highness had a bitter smile on his face as I was frozen, confused at the sight of his hand outstretched towards me. He apologized, and before I could process anything, he picked me up in his arms and took me to the room where I had been holed up until a moment ago.
Upon entering the room, His Highness laid me on the bed. As I sank into the fluffy bed, His Highness sat on the edge and patted my head.
“Oh, I apologize, Your Highness, for troubling you…”
“You’re my fiancé, aren’t you? This much, this is only what’s natural.”
Fiancé, that word made my heartache. The fiancé is I, but this person is already tied to another woman… When I thought about it again, my tears slowly started oozing out again.
His Highness’ beautiful face became distorted. With such a painful expression, I wondered if His Highness needed to lie down more than I did, but I couldn’t push myself to get off the bed. I couldn’t say anything. As if it were a matter of course, His Highness hugged me. I remained silent.
“…Is the idea of marrying me really making you this unhappy?”
The unexpected words that came out of His Highness’s mouth rendered me even more speechless.
“Nevertheless, I… I still, I like you…”
The next thing I knew, I heard my voice. No, this might not have been the correct voice to make. It was a voice that made a muddled “Eh” sound. At the sound of my voice, His Highness tightened the strength in his arms that were embracing me… It kind of, it was a bit painful.
“You, you may have thought of me the same way as your brother. And for me, to suddenly become your fiancé… It must have; it must have been too difficult for you to accept it.”
No, I never once thought of His Highness to be the same as my brother. My brother was kind but also a little mean. Maybe it’s because I was his younger sister, but… At any rate, there is a vast difference in character between him and His Highness.
“When you found out about our engagement, I heard you felt unwell…”
If I remember correctly, I did collapse. Because I was so excited.
“Whenever I held your hand, you didn’t hold mine back…”
Indeed, I couldn’t hold it back. I was too worried about my hand being sweaty.
“Since we got engaged, you, you’ve stopped making eye contact with me…”
Of course, I didn’t make eye contact. I would’ve been too nervous.
“When I hugged you, you would only tremble…”
Definitely, I did tremble. It was out of happiness.
“…Fainting, when I kissed you, you almost fainted…”
I can confirm, that it was a close one; the kiss almost sent me to heaven.
“Someday, you, I was hoping that one day you would accept me… But if it’s causing you this much pain, I…”
I raised my voice before His Highness could speak another word. His Highness, who opened his eyes in surprise, stared at me, and… For the first time since our engagement, I was able to make decent eye contact with him. I turned my body and hugged him back just as tightly.
In every scenario, it was my fault. How uneasy and sad His Highness must have felt because of my actions. If you don’t say it, it would never get across; my brother had told me that so many times already. At any rate, this behavior… It’s too much.
His Highness and I are two different people. Since neither can read each other’s minds, there would be no way for either of us to know what the other is thinking. I wonder why I didn’t notice such an obvious thing until now.
“I-I have… I have always, always longed for His Highness’ love… I am the same!”
Earnestly, I must convey my feelings. At my words, His Highness opened his eyes in surprise and… He was frozen stiff.