Chapter Eleven: The Sin of Stupidity (Part II)
The warm hands on my head made more tears fall, which then gave me a runny nose.
In the sense of stopping my tears, it was completely counterproductive.
But for me, it is also a source of comfort right now.
I think this much is allowed.
The bottom line is that it seems like he accepts me despite my sins.
“…Well, tears and a runny nose can ruin even people with good faces. Now, look at your nose.”
The tissue pressed against my nose reflexively tingled, and that’s when I noticed.
…Isn’t it too much for someone to wipe someone else’s nose? Isn’t it too childish of me?
However, as a matter of fact, he just threw the tissue in the trash can and didn’t dig at it especially, so I decided not to think about it as well.
…I appreciate your kindness, Kaname, but aren’t I being too spoiled? Even though you’re saying such harsh things, if you spoil people, they’ll be useless… Like me!
“Well… I think I’m more back on track now.”
He wiped my runny nose with a tissue, but it was his thumb that wiped my tears.
If I don’t stop crying like this, Kaname’s hands will get wet.
I hurriedly wiped my tears with the sleeves of my clothes.
“Oh, my. If you want to wipe it, at least use a handkerchief.”
“…I don’t have it.”
“Keep the minimum etiquette, stupid… Here.”
Since you have a handkerchief, you could have lent it to me from the beginning.
While I was thinking of such ungrateful things, wiping my eyes with a plain, ironed handkerchief, Kaname got a new cup of tea from the maid.
“…So? Have you calmed down a little after talking?”
The steaming tea was filled with milk and sugar.
…I was always frowned upon whenever I put in the sugar and milk myself, saying I always put in too much.
“Yeah…Thank you. Thank you for listening.”
“Not at all… You have a habit of worrying about matters that you shouldn’t care about at all.”
Kaname said so while sipping his straight tea. I couldn’t help but frown.
“…Because I might have taken someone else’s life… Of course, I’d care.”
“That someone is a character in the game, and you’ve already been who you are since you were born. I don’t understand your concern for a woman who exists in such fiction.”
“…I can only be like this because I know I became aware to a certain point.”
I don’t know what it means to be born as a true otome game character.
The feeling of being a “reincarnate,” which was born by taking over the life of “Hououin Ayaka,” is only a foreign element.
The thoughts brought about feelings that being born was a sin.
“Oh. I can’t completely understand how you feel since you have memories of your previous life… But I can’t count how many times I’ve heard the line, ‘I wish you hadn’t been born’ said to my face by my father’s lawful wife and my half-brother.”
“No matter how many times I’ve heard that said that, I wasn’t interested in being the head of the Ryudoji family, they wouldn’t listen at all. It’s not fair to think about how it’s good that this is all just a setting, designed to build the romance between the heroine and me in the future.”
…Yes, the critical characters are far more miserable than I, who is just suffering from the guilt of being a perpetrator.
“…I’m sorry. It’s important to me.”
“Why are you apologizing? Ayaka, you have nothing to apologize for.”
“But my confessions made Kaname feel bad…”
“It was me who made you say that. Also, is the previous life you were talking about true? Then the person I should hate is God, who intentionally brought me into this world with circumstances like this. It’s not you.”
With a clinking sound, Kaname places his cup on the table.
“That’s why you should impose full responsibility for the sins on ‘God’. You were not reincarnated as ‘Hououin Ayaka’ by choice. If there really were an ‘Empress’ who should be in this world, it would be wrong if her grudge was directed at you.”
“…But if you still insist that your birth is a sin, then it’s also a sin that I was born.”
“That’s not true!”
“What’s the difference? The definition of sin varies from person to person, and, indeed, I shouldn’t have been born since my father had a wife and son… But that doesn’t matter to me. I was not born as a Ryudoji by my own will.”
“And Ayaka, you call me ‘righteous born’ or ‘Ryudoji Kaname’, but how can you prove that? I may be just a person with similar characteristics to ‘Ryudoji Kaname,’ who was reborn in the same world as you, albeit not remembering the previous life. It’s the devil’s proof that the soul and the vessel fit together correctly. In the first place, in being reincarnated, I wonder if the concept itself of being righteous born exists.”
…Yes. I can see why you’re saying so many things for me.
I understand, but I’ve been given so much information that I’m entirely overwhelmed…! I don’t even understand half of it anymore. I mean, I don’t really understand my existence anymore.
It seems that the Empress’ brain did not have a philosophical cheat.